Manual Trust And Submission (Bondage SM Erotica)

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At first, we casually texted, catching up on each other's lives.


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He'd finished an Ironman triathlon, and I'd started working on a business plan to venture out on my own. Our shared interest in BDSM came up slowly, in e-mails and on the phone. He'd joke about making me scream, and I'd say, confidently, "Bring it. I learned that BDSM is about more than rough sex. While a Dominant, or "Dom," may have the "power," he can only go as far as his submissive, or "sub," will let him. It's not abuse; it's consensual. Doug would text, "How do you feel about a belt?

Could you trust me to do anything to you? We settled on opposite sofas, and I was a fidgety, nervous mess. What if I didn't like the pain as much as the idea of it? Then Doug stood up, towering over me, and grabbed a fistful of my hair. He ordered me to perform oral sex, but that first time wasn't really about sex, it was about seeing if I'd be obedient. He used a belt, leaving welts on my back, thighs, and bottom.

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I could hear him pacing behind me, but I never knew when the lick of leather was coming. It hurt like hell, but I was utterly turned on. I had no control. And I loved it. Afterward, I cried, overwhelmed by how raw it all was. We met up a couple more times for similar sessions, but then I pulled away. I was freaked out.

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Not by the pain, but by how intense my feelings were for him. Nearly two years passed before I saw him again. We had both gotten married, gotten on with our lives. My husband and I renovated our house. I traveled to India and Australia with friends. And my business boomed. Meanwhile, I tried to suppress this thing between Doug and me. When Doug texted that he was moving to Boston for a big promotion, I agreed to meet him for a drink. I told my husband, with whom I share a very honest relationship, that I was going to see an ex for closure.

But as soon as Doug and I laid eyes on each other, that dark connection was still there. He walked me to my car, and we kissed. Then he told me to take off my pants. I obeyed. We were right back in it. He left for Boston with his wife the next morning. A sub is willing to go to a place many people do not, or cannot, go. With miles between us, we're in contact over e-mail, text, and Skype. Because BDSM is about so much more than just sex, Doug can still be my Dom from afar, focusing more on psychological control.

I'll text that I'm going for a run, and he'll tell me I can't. Over Skype, he'll watch me get close to orgasm and make me stop. Or he won't speak to me because, with the distance, it's one of the only ways I can feel the sting of his decision. We know what we're doing isn't fair to our spouses, but fortunately for me, I'm able to be honest with my husband about Doug.

Why I Chose to Be a Submissive in My BDSM Relationship

We went through counseling a few years ago and agreed to have an open marriage. I love my husband—and I love having sex with him, but in an entirely different way. Doug is my dark and my husband is my light. For Doug, it's not that easy. His wife has no idea about this side of him. Recently, I flew to Boston for a long weekend when Doug's wife was out of town. He arrived at my hotel and made me sit on my knees while he spanked me with his belt.

Even though we have a safe word, I've never used it. A Dom is intoxicated by someone who is willing to trust him or her that much.


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  5. A sub is intoxicated by the surrender—and not because he or she is weak. The physical pain is just a small part of it. And surviving it, enduring it, is a feat. I know it's weird, but I feel like if I can do that, I can do anything. I didn't tell any of my friends about Doug for nearly four years. I just didn't want to be judged. Eventually, I started revealing details when we'd talk about our sex lives.

    They couldn't believe that I liked being bossed around, that I allowed a man to hit me. I explained that in his normal life, Doug would never hurt a woman. He even donates to a battered-women's shelter! As a fetish model who favors piercings and day to day constraint in the form of the corset and high heels people of the vanilla world often inquire if I am a sadist or a masochist? The answer to that question is that I am neither I am just me and I am free to be myself and in that I mean that I allow me to be me. I accept and realize that I do have some masochistic tendencies. I do wear the corset which to me actually feels very pleasant and I do indulge in things like ballet and the wearing of high heels.

    I do continue to practice ballet daily and I attend workouts of that nature and I will admit that I am more prone to push myself if the instructor is a sexually attractive female and if she is a tad bit cruel and tactile with me.

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    I do find it very arousing. I enjoy it. I am by nature more of a submissive.


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    I like to feel the cruelty of a gorgeous woman. So before anyone jumps to any conclusions and assumes that I, The Naked Girl live in some black latex and metal dungeon and sleep on a torture rack I will explain to you that BDSM is not all about whips and chains and wearing the gimp mask from Pulp Fiction. BDSM can be as extreme as all that or as simple as doing and wearing something that pleases your partner or asking your partner to do and wear something that pleases you. There is no fad or fashion to follow there is only your own pleasures.

    It doesn't require a billion dollar fortune and some convoluted sex room but it does require trust and respect. BDSM, at least to me, is not about sex but about trust and respect, the sex is just what results from that. In all my explorations of kink and sexuality I have come to the conclusion that BDSM is less about the sex act than it is about trust and the building and exercising of trust.